iN PROCESS . . .

Featured | Posted by Dr. Denise J Charles

A caterpillar is a pre-butterfly or a butterfly in the making. If it never hangs itself upside down to initiate the change process, then this change will not have the chance to occur. As unique and beautiful as caterpillars are all on their own, they are destined for both change and transformation.
From “Tonight I am a Butterfly: Celebrating Seasons of Change” © 2020 Denise J Charles

Of Mondays and Other False Starts

Posted on May 25, 2020 by Dr. Denise J Charles

monday

Very often we drag our feet when it comes to the start of a new work week. This time of COVID 19 has in many respects enlarged the anxiety, stress or tension that many of us may feel going into a new work week. Some may even be jobless or without their financial anchor which makes the task of meeting a new week even more dauting. Mondays with its propensity for false starts will always be with us but then, there’s always Tuesday. Enjoy my latest poem.

MONDAY

Monday is a moon,

a mountain

a great wall high with plans,

and pronouncements.

A barrier to sunsets and sweet sundaes with cherries on top,

a pile of enemied white papers and white-blue-grey filtered screens.

Monday is a motion,

an ocean;

a flow not restricted nor restrained.

It is a hope and happy accomplishments

promised by last week’s rain.

Monday is a demi-beginning,

not quite the first

nor the last,

it is the present

not the past

not the middle

not the end.

Monday messes with my head and my rest,

it promises promises that cannot be kept

Like slithering Saturdays and the Sunday

that slept.

It is dereliction of duty

aided by blue pens that need more ink

and too many cups of coffee or tea or that surreptitious drink,

of anything.

Monday is money

and as money goes it quickly disappears and rightfullly so

into the terror and the treasure

of a tardy, truth-filled Tuesday.

Safety Within My Walls

Posted on April 16, 2020 by Dr. Denise J Charles

Bedroom with decoration

Except for academic papers, very often my inspirational writing or poetry begins with a tiny spark of an idea, which is often linked to some sensory experience or memory. This morning, it was in the yellow accent wall of my bedroom, that I felt a strange, warm sense of comfort, strange because it was an unexpected familiarity, which came suddenly; unplanned. Yellow was my favourite childhood colour so perhaps my yellow wall and my favourite yellow dress when I was five merged seamlessly in my memory, to kindle a deep feeling of warmth and safety. That experience, which in real time lasted perhaps all of 5 seconds, birthed an almost immediate word picture (words that create images) in my mind. My spirit heard the words “safety within my walls” and I paused to write.

The COVID 19 pandemic has of necessity relegated many of us to our homes. The wide gamut of global reactions to this social/physical distancing have been priceless, spanning clever and hilarious “trapped at home” videos to serious Op-Eds reminiscent of the harsh uncertainty of our times. With a keen understanding of the individuality of our circumstances and with the knowledge that complex variables can mitigate our “at home” experiences I, nonetheless, chose to magnify the significance of this global journey we all share, from the perspective of that space “within our walls”.

It is important that we interpret our walls and find there the wisdom to make us better people. While literal walls protect us from the harsh external elements of weather and storms, we often also figuratively interpret them as negative barriers, which either keep us imprisoned or separate us from people. Today, all across the globe, we are being asked to frame our literal walls, however, as places of safety and refuge from an unwanted enemy in COVID 19. Hopefully, we can revisit this idea of “walls” and begin to see them in a figurative sense as spaces for us to experience a metamorphosis. Yet I remain aware that my wall and yours can never be the same.

What then will we do individually “within our walls” to leverage not only our safety but our personal growth? Will we grumble, fuss, and complain because we lack our regular freedoms, supermarket choices or recreational activities? Thankfully, many of us are seizing the moments from this crisis and are growing and even glowing “within our walls”.

It’s critical, however, that we first identify our wall space. My real yellow wall became representative of the hidden beauty and hope in my circumstances. This morning, I felt a strong sense of safety and protection when I saw it. It is from this place that I can think, create and just be. Of course we have our own stories of challenge but hopefully this time of separation, signals a new beginning and not an end. This is not the closing of our human chapter as some doomsday pronouncers would have us believe but it presents a wonderful opportunity for renewal provided we find and own our space “within our walls”.

Here are some tips to help us along the growth process.

Define your walls: Do you feel safe, creative, panicked, bored, angry, content, alone, impatient, anxious, fearful, all the above? It is important to articulate your emotions in this new space. They may be unpredictable, confusing and muddled but be honest with those feelings. Don’t be too hard on yourself and resist the temptation to be emotionally perfect and well put together at this time. Admitting your own humanity and demonstrating an inward compassion which lets your own self “off the hook” as it were, is a critical component towards self-validation. It is okay not to be okay in this season.
Re-frame your wall through choice: The human mind is a powerful thing. There were times when I was incredibly worried but chose to cast off the mindset of worry and to rely on God through prayer (conversations with God) and through positive affirmations. I found these in verses of scripture or through powerful music, which lifted my spirit. This morning, as at other times, I chose to magnify safety and protection. As a consequence I have no qualms about staying inside. In fact, “stanhome” in Bajan parlance, has become my super hashtag and favourite mantra. From this space of safety, I have created poetry (though admittedly unfinished), art, done some academic writing, watched favourite movies, browsed a few books and taken some time to simply walk around my home; something I haven’t done in a while. I have even embarked on a fresh natural hair-care regimen with rice-water and I’m currently researching tackling skin care and am enjoying the no-make-up breather. At this moment my yellow wall has moved way beyond the sanctuary of my bedroom and is looking awesomely bright and beautiful.
Re-imagine a new you: Who will you be post-COVID? Only you can determine that and it is critical that you use this now experience, to chart that new identity. Some have had a spiritual re-birth or have re-kindled some hidden talent but who will you be not just in this moment but in the long term? Will you return to self-centredness or selfishness? Will you be as unforgiving of family and friends or will your heart be charged with greater empathy and compassion towards other imperfect people like yourself? Will you value life and make the most of small moments now that we recognize how truly fragile life can be? Will your heart be filled with thankfulness for small mercies? Will your heart ache with your own un-doneness and will you in response acknowledge your need of God? Will you choose to speak life even in dire circumstances? I ask these questions of myself.

The power of this opportunity resides in the power that we give it and I am all about allowing it to bring change. Many pictures have been posted and much has been said about the absence of pollution, the return of nature to certain spaces, the clear skies and the sense that the earth has breathed deeply and finally awakened with new vigour after the incessant trampling of mankind. This is certainly some powerful imagery of renewal but what about us? When will we wake up? What will we do with our awakened moments? Our re-birth can perhaps begin deep within the transformative cocoon of our very real and figurative walls and hopefully this re-birth will continue; until. . .

Stay safe.